Random Quotes

Procrastinate now - don't put it off.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

There's Mr. Right, Mr. Wrong, and then there's you ... Mr. Never Wrong.

Jealously is a terrible disease - get well soon.

Best friends are the people who know all about you and still put up with you!

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you're abusing the privilege.

He tells enough white lies to ice a cake.

Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film!

42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

The only reason I am always listening to music is to drown out the sound of your voice!

I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on ebay.

Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.

Those who think they know everything annoy those of us who do.

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?

WARNING: In case of rapture, this car will be driverless.

Anger is one letter short of danger.

Life is not all bad. Look into somebody's eyes. You'll see that they're a person just like you. They also have good and bad feelings, hopes and dreams.

I'm sugar and spice and everything nice,
If you wanna mess with me you better think twice.

The only reason that I talk to myself is because that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

There are some days when I just don't feel like talking. Today is that day.

Learn from the mistakes of others, because you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?

I did my homework. I just forgot to write it down.

Roses are red, violets are blue, please flush the toilet, after you.

It is not my fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!

A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be somewhere else.

I know a million ways
To always pick the wrong thing to say.

A friend is someone who dances with you in the sunlight and walks beside you in the shadows.

Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system that depends on human reliability is unreliable.

Everything I know about computers I learned from my kid!

Originality is the art of concealing your sources.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.